Full Circle

November 2006

Hilton's Story

Chapter 28 Return to Madurai

The bus had been hot and crowded and Hilton wanted a bath in the worst way. He took Ananda and Upsali directly to the Taj Garden Retreat, the hotel where he had stayed with Kay. Two rooms were available, Hilton took one. A hot shower and a shave later and he felt much like a normal person.  Purchasing a shirt and trousers in the hotel shops he discarded the yogic robe and caught Ananda and Upsali by surprise with his change in appearance.

            “You appear to be feeling better,” said Upsali.

            “More like my old self,” Hilton answered. “Let’s go to the temple.”

Ananda was amazed at the gopurams and Upsali explained the significance of the carvings on the surfaces and the function of the temples. Impatiently, Hilton took them to the courtyard where the old guru, Sariputa, meditated. The man remembered Hilton and appeared thrilled to see Upsali whom he had known many years before.

Sariptu asked Upsali in Tamil why he had come with a Buddhist monk and the westerner. Upsali requested a moment to speak with his old friend privately and renew acquaintances. Hilton, anxious to talk to the Sariputa was patient and took Ananda to the main temple to look at the thousand carved pillars while Upsali went with Sariputa.

 “My friend,” Upsali said when Ananda and Hilton returned, “Sariputa has heard of your experience from my lips but wishes to hear it again from you. Will you please tell him, he will not tell of it to others.”

“It’s a long story,” answered Hilton. “Perhaps we can meet here tomorrow. It’s late now. I’ll tell you what happened then.”

After the evening meal Hilton felt drawn to the garden. The others insisted on joining him and as they  turned a corner of the path were face to face with a coiled black cobra, its hood drooped, head slightly bowed. It didn’t straighten as it had when Kay and Hilton faced it. Hilton sensed, for reasons he later could explain, that the cobra was submissive and approached it carefully. It swayed back and forth as if in a trance. He stood before it without fear looking  into the black unblinking eyes as if asking for release from life. The cobra dropped its head and slithered into the garden.

Ananda and Upsali, almost  paralyzed,  stared as the events seemed to happen in slow motion. Hilton turned to them; his face flushed, a rapture in his eyes. “The last time I faced that snake it was me who ran away.” Upsali demanded to know what had happened. Hilton told him how he and Kay had walked on this path and the snake had struck out at him as they turned and ran.

“That is an omen,” Upsali said in awe. “The cobra is bound to Shiva and is one of his forms. We have been told the Shiva is saddened by your loss.”

“How can that be,” Hilton replied. “Shiva is a myth.”

“Is he?” Upsali questioned. “Your whole experience in India has been one of meeting Shiva. Perhaps, in the first encounter with the cobra he was telling you to leave India.”

“I don’t believe that. This is the twenty first century.” Hilton was confused but wanted to appear confident. Returning to the lobby he asked the concierge if they had seen the snake but it had not returned.

            Morning sunlight sparkled through the leaves above the temple courtyard as Hilton told Sariputo about Natari and Parmi who had taken them on the mystical visit to Mount Meru. The story itself was fascinating but then Upsali described their encounter with the cobra in the hotel garden and Hilton added the details of the first time he had met it. Shiva is often portrayed with cobras around his neck to demonstrate that he is beyond the power of death. Cobras are in popular mythology but are not usually found in this part of India.

Sariputa whispered in Tamil, “Could this man have been given a message from the gods to the people that they must remember the old ways; the faith and beliefs that have been handed to us through the ages?”

Upsali heard and signaled to Sariputa that they should talk and then begged leave of Hilton and Ananda.

Returning to the courtyard a short while later Upsali addressed Hilton, “Sir, we have heard what you have said and seen some of the signs you have been given. We believe that Lord Shiva has contacted us through you. We believe you have brought a message from the gods that must be told.”

“Why would the gods choose me? Explain, if you can.” Hilton was defensive and agitated.

Sariputa spoke. “When you first came here you were part of a group of Tantrics and practiced the pleasures of Tantra. You know that Lord Shiva is the patron of Tantra and permitted you and your lady to experienced the bardo world not once but twice. Lord Shiva must have chosen you long ago and brought you here to be his instrument.”

“What about Kay?” he asked. “She brought me into Tantra. She was the messenger. Why was she taken from me? No, I don’t believe this. It is much too ridiculous in this day and age.”

Sariputa spoke, “We cannot know the ways of the gods. Perhaps you were destined from previous lifetimes for this purpose. We cannot disregard the gods. Please give us the message that Lord Shiva has given you?”

Ananda’s beliefs do not include messages from the gods but are based on the teachings of Buddha. He spoke, “My brothers, this cannot be. The sutras do not speak of a message from the gods. The truth is already given in the Sutras and the Vedas.”

“The truth may already be known but people do not follow the way of the truth. Maybe the message is to reaffirm the truth and show the people that they must believe,” snapped Upsali.

Hilton became more confused and angry. “I don’t have a message and I don’t like this way of thinking. I don’t know about the faith of Hindu’s, Buddhists, Christians or anybody else and to speak of a message from Lord Shiva is preposterous. I want to be alone to think.”

As his mind quieted he saw the path, realizing that if he was a messenger he must understand the message. If there was a message it was not clear in is mind and he had not found it during his travels. He was searching for Kay and had not found her either. It was time to stop searching and think.

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