Full Circle

November 2006

Hilton's Story

Chapter 27 Upsali

Upsalii did not recognize Hilton in his present condition. Hilton reminded him of their meeting several months before and the night they had spent in the Kamakshi temple. He then remembered and asked about his lovely lady. Hilton’s eyes glistened when he told him about his loss. Upsali took them to his courtyard to sit and tell him what had happened and why he was here again in the guise of a yogi.

Hilton described his life with Kay, their experience during the rite of Maithuna, the dream in Khajuraho, Natara and Parmi, the house in the park and the vision of Mount Meru. The old guru listened carefully when he got to his quest to find Kay, his sickness and the help he received from the Buddhists in the Deer Park at Sarnath. Upsali was impressed with the intensity of Hilton’s feelings and insisted that Ananda and Hilton stay till the full moon when perhaps there might be a sign from Shiva. In the meantime they would talk and meditate together. Upsali saw in Hilton a man who needed time to heal and recover emotional health.

Waiting for the full moon Hilton learned more about life as a yogi and became comfortable with the others living in the compound. Surprisingly many spoke English and listened to his story with interest and in some cases awe. He became a celebrity as the man who had met Shiva and Parvati in Khajuraho. More gurus and yogis came and listened and by the night of the full moon a large group surrounded him.

Upsali took him to the Kamakshi temple when the moon was highest. Hilton’s heart raced as they walked down the corridor to the sanctum below the image of Parvati. They sat in the very place he had shared with Kay. His heart ached but as he relaxed and his mind cleared he felt kundalini energy rise through his chakras to his head seeking an outlet as it did when he meditated with her. The roar in his ears and the bright light in his eyes were overpowering but he sensed another light coming toward him from somewhere beyond. The light flickered, he reached out but there was only air, the movement broke the spell. When he opened his eyes the full moon shone through an opening high above the head of Parvati. He sat on the floor and wept silently.

As dawn broke Upsali took him from the chamber to the monastery. He asked Hilton what had happened and Hilton described his vision as well as he could. Upsali sensed a  set back in his emotional health.

“It is time to continue your journey; nothing more will happen here,” he said. “I wish to accompany you and together we may find what you seek.”

The offer was a surprise and Hilton was uncertain but he looked into the old man's guileless face and saw sincerity.  “You are very kind and we welcome you to come with us,” Hilton answered even though he was uncertain about Upsali’s motives. Ananda  whispered that Upsali’s knowledge of the language would be useful.

Kambukonam is a long distance from Kanchipuram. The three travellers took leave of the monastery and set out on the road as pilgrims. They rode in old busses, on farm wagons and in the back of trucks. It wasn’t that they didn’t have access to money to travel in grander style but Upsali insisted they go slowly. It would give Hilton time to heal. He worried that more disappointment would be devastating and he secretly did not think there was any chance Hilton would find his beloved.

Strangely, as they passed through towns and villages people gazed at them in awe and with respect. Ananda received alms that people almost forced on them and they were offered food and lodging at night. When they stopped to rest people gathered as if waiting for a word or sign. Upsali learned that the people had heard that the Western guru had seen Mount Meru and they wanted to know more. At first Hilton was reluctant to talk on the pretext that the people spoke Hindi or Tamil. Upsali offered to repeat his words in Tamil and Ananda would do the same in Hindi.

Hilton’s first telling to a crowd gathered in the dust around him was unnerving and he was very matter of fact in what he said. He did not know what Upsali and Ananda added but they spoke for a long time after he had finished. The audience listened attentively.

The crowds seemed to be larger each day as Hilton became more eloquent in his repetition. Upsali and Ananda translated for a long time after he finished and Hilton began to wonder what they were saying. In one town a gentleman approached and introduced himself as the mayor. He said he spoke Hindi and Tamil and obviously English and he told Hilton that Ananda had put a definite Buddhist slant on the story and that Upsali had expanded the Hindu perspective. He asked if Hilton had any bias to either interpretation. Hilton was surprised but said that he followed the middle path and understood that his friends viewed the events from their own perspectives. He added that he was not sure the event had actually happened and that it might have been a dream. The mayor smiled and thanked him for visiting his town believing the westerner was sent by the gods to renew the old faith.

         Hilton had no intention of becoming a modern messiah for either the Buddhists or the Hindus and as the crowds grew larger he became nervous and told Ananda and Upsali that they were attracting attention that might become a problem.

“Have you see the men at the back who are watching us more than listening?” he asked after one particularly large crowd was leaving.

Upsali looked worried and said, “I have heard that some priests are becoming jealous of the attention we are receiving. They say we are a new cult.”

“That's not good. I've a bad feeling and want to get to Kambukonam as quickly as possible. What can we do?”

The railway provided the means to quickly put miles behind the crowds. Ananda checked the schedules. The early morning train would take them to Cuddalore, then on to Kambukonam. Hilton insisted they leave town quietly and quickly on that train. They escaped hours before a mob incited by the local priests came to lynch them.

           The train was a pleasant change from the dusty roads and  busy towns. The two yogis and the monk received respect from the people in the crowded coach, several even asking if they were the gurus from Kanchipuram that everyone talked about. Upsali answered that he had not heard of three gurus from Kanchipuram and that they were pilgrims going to Kambukonam. No one questioned them further.

On arrival they rushed directly to the largest reflective pool where Upsali bathed away his sin in the Hindu tradition. Ananda had never seen such grand temples as they roamed about with the tourists until priest asked if he could help. Upsali told him they were seeking a lost soul that might be waiting here. The priest looked at him quizzically, smiled and invited them to stay in the monastery and join the priests of the temples.

“Why did the ancient people build such temples here?” Ananda asked Upsali. “Buddhists have beautiful temples but nothing like these that I have seen.”

“The priest will tell you about the temples,” Upsali responded and after the sun went down the priest explained the meaning of the temples and the story of Lord Shiva’s visit after the great flood. Upsali added comments where he could and translated for Hilton.

“How do you plan to find the spirit of your lost love?” he asked Hilton after the story of the flood was finished.

“I don’t know. Tara told me in a dream that I must follow my path but he has not come again. Maybe if I meditate he will come.”

The temple priest heard the conversation. “There is a story about a Brahmin lady who lost her husband in a far away war. She could not burn his body and throw herself on the funeral pier, as is the custom. She came here to find his soul and worshipped in each of the temples for three days. At last, it is said, Shakti rewarded her taking her to her husband. Her body was consumed in flames as she prayed. The place has become a shrine for widows.”

“Then, I shall pray for three days in each of the Shiva temples. I know she will come to a temple dedicated to Shiva,” Hilton said hopefully.

Upalli told the priest and arrangements were made for him to meditate in the temples.

Hilton spent the next nine days in deep meditation. He took only the food and water needed to sustain him and spoke little to anyone. Visitors and tourists passed him by seeing only an old yogi seemingly dreaming his life away just like other yogis and gurus in the ancient temples.

           The priests prevailed upon the Ananda and Upsali to tell them about Hilton and what he was doing. They did not think a westerner could have such deep conviction. Upsali repeated what Hilton had told the crowds as they travelled and word spread quickly that these were the three gurus from the north of the province. Upsali tried without success to convince them that they were not preachers but were merely telling of events that this man had experienced. The priests argued that Ananda had described the suffering that Hilton experienced as one of the eight Buddhist sufferings but this was not a Buddhist place and they did not accept Buddhism in Tamilnadu.

After the ninth day Hilton had not encountered Tara nor found Kay. He returned to the priests and an air of hostility. Ananda and Upsali explained that the priests were afraid he was a new Buddha who would bring disruption to their orders. They had tried to convince the priests that this was not so but failed. The priest who had invited them to stay in the monastery came and said that they should leave as soon as possible. He was afraid that something unfortunate might happen if they stayed.

Hilton thanked the priest for their hospitality offering alms to the monastery even though a few younger priests wanted to attack them but were held back by the others. The priests watched sullenly as they walked onto the dusty road to Thanjavur. It was late in the day when they entered the town.

A stranger met them, bowed and addressed Upsali in the Tamil language saying that people in the town had heard of them and there was danger if they went further. He invited them to his house on the outskirts of the town where they could rest and be safe. He spoke in a way that convinced Upsali that he spoke the truth and so they went with him where they received food and drink.

As the evening darkened Hilton saw people gathering in the yard and asked their host who they were. “Venerable sirs,” said the host, “these are a few trusted friends who would hear your story for themselves. They will not harm you. It is not generally known you are here so we do not expect others. Will you tell of your experience on Mount Meru, please venerable sir?”   

Hilton was not happy but they prevailed upon him to repeat the story. He perceived a great need in the people to believe that the ancient myths were real. He felt compelled to go ahead even though many priests claimed he was perpetuating a blasphemy even though he didn’t want to end his life on a cross or worse somewhere in the south of India.

The small crowd listened intently to what he said as translated by Upsali. Ananda knew enough Tamil to confirm that the translation was accurate and Upsali did not try to interpret the story as a message from the gods. He finished, the crowd was hushed and then they all bowed to the three men, now respected as gurus. Conversation began, some of the people perceived a new Buddha was in their midst but Upsali and Ananda denied that they were following a new Buddha. Someone else said that it had been twenty five hundred years since Sakyamuni Buddha had taught the sutras and wasn’t it time for a new Buddha? There was considerable discussion until the host asked them to go home and keep what they had heard secret for a more appropriate occasion.

Hilton was up before the sun rose and joined Ananda in meditation. When the morning sun warmed their faces he spoke to Ananda.

“These people think we are more than ordinary gurus.”

“Yes, I think you are right,” he answered. “I know it is wrong but I have enjoyed the opportunity to speak of Buddha. However, I am concerned for our safety. Some people here do not want to learn anything different from what they have been told for hundreds of years.”

“We don’t have a new message or teaching. Just a story that might or might not be true I’m beginning to lose faith myself. You can repeat the old sutras another time but not under the pretext of being sent by Lord Shiva.”

Upsali joined them and they discussed the situation agreeing to go to Madurai as quickly as possible.

“If I don’t find anything there I’ll abandon my quest.” Hilton looked grave, his face haggard and weary.

“Will you come to the monastery in the Himalayas as the Venerable Master suggested?” Ananda asked. The answer, ‘yes’.

Their host provided a breakfast and food for the journey. They thanked him for his hospitality and then taken in the farm truck to the bus depot

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